Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Re: Michael Phelps...

...you could probably guess what I think about THAT. In short, if I were REALLY a gifted writer, I'd have written this:

Dear America,
I take it back. I don’t apologize.
Because you know what? It’s none of your goddamned business. I work my ass off 10 months per year. It’s that hard work that gave you all those gooey feelings of patriotism last summer. If during my brief window of down time I want to relax, enjoy myself, and partake of a substance that’s a hell of a lot less bad for me than alcohol, tobacco, or, frankly, most of the prescription drugs most of you are taking, well, you can spare me the lecture.
Go ahead and tear me down if you like. But let’s see you rationalize in your next lame ONDCP commercial how the greatest motherfucking swimmer the world has ever seen . . . is also a proud pot smoker.

Michael Phelps

Dead. Nuts. On. Read The Whole Thing. Print it out, pass it around to everyone you know.