They must have gotten this from The Onion.

That's the only conclusion I can draw, anyway...

Despite highly publicized crackdowns, cellular phones continue to be smuggled to prison inmates in large numbers in Texas and nationwide, according to a published report.
Those phones have been implicated in a number of crimes inside the prisons and outside, including homicides, according to the Austin American-Statesman.

Contraband getting into prisons, which are supposed to be the most secured facilities of any sort? Heavens to Mergatroid! Maybe they should declare a War On Cell Phones. Yeah, that'll do the trick...

In all seriousness, it also deserves to be asked why we should have to rely on the police to protect us when the criminals can still manage to get their dirty work done inside the prisons.