...I just don't have the words:
But there's an altogether different kind of bullying, which most people just don't encounter.That last sentence was the capper to it all. I won't lie. By the time I got to it I had a big lump in my throat with tears streaming down my face, as I whispered to Sabra, "I'm sorry you had to go through that."
...It's spending the better part of a decade married to an emotionally abusive asshole and not even realizing it for the first five years 'cause it's still a hell of a lot better than the way anyone treated you in the past.
Don't misunderstand -- I knew what she'd dealt with in her past, long before she wrote about it. Something about seeing her recount it all just really got me, though. What can I say to that, but that I love her and can't understand for the life of me why anyone would treat her so badly. I remember back before Sabra and I were married, I had gone to lunch with certain members of my family, among them my dear, sweet now-77-year-old grandmother.
We were talking about Sabra, and the subject of Sabra's ex came up. My mother, I think it was, asked me if I ever talked to him. I shook my head emphatically. "Nuh-uh."
My grandmother piped up from the back seat. "Aw, you never know. He might be a nice guy."
I demurred on that point, saying something to the effect of "I dunno about that"; but inside I was thinking, "Nice guy? Noooot if you knew what I know about him and what he did to her." Lord help me always to be a better husband, father and man than that...