It's a comfort, albeit a rather lukewarm one, to see those in my generation weren't the first to jump the gun and get married for really stupid reasons, but still, things like this...
Dear Abby:...make me really skittish when it comes to taking that leap. One wonders how their courtship went. Call me crazy, but I tend to get the idea that this woman led her husband on into thinking she loved him. Which, if that's the case, is really sorry of her because she screwed him out of 20 years of his life -- and that's time he's never, ever going to get back. And how selfish of her to be worried only about her security. She said nary a word about his feelings, his wants or his needs. I mean, really, I can understand wanting to be secure, but WHY do people settle for just that? It'd be better to be alone and make your own damn security. Hell, at least then you have options. Is it really too much to ask for intimacy and passion as well as security and companionship all in one person?
I am 43, the mother of four and just celebrated my 20th anniversary. Is it normal for someone to be married all this time and still not want your husband to see you naked?
The lights must always be off, and I keep a shirt on. It’s not because I am ashamed of my body; it’s that I’m not attracted to him. I never was.
I married him for security and have learned to love him, but like a brother. I feel I owe him.
Should I tell my husband how I feel and risk losing my security? I confided in a friend. She advised me to say nothing.
My husband had an affair a few years ago, and I was secretly relieved. Sometimes I wish he was still with her....
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