Saturday, March 08, 2008

More Cornell Campus Idiocy

...from an old source, Cornell Sun blogger Tony Manfred:

Usually I don’t bother with comic books due to an overriding suspicion that everyone associated with comic books is a gigantic nerd, but now that Captain America packs heat I have to delve into the gag-inducing world of tighty-whiteys and moldy retainers to stand against guns.

You really shouldn't bother with the written word either, Sparky. Were I a potential employer I would have some serious reservations about hiring you after seeing this and your previous scribblings.

Superheroes fly or shoot web out of their forearms or don purple short-shorts and smash people or do just about anything other than shoot people. Shooting people is in no way super. Comic book readers all over America are overturning coffee tables in their mother’s basements in rage; they are interrupting sixteen-hour World of Warcraft sessions to rant about Captain Copout on some of the least-read message boards in the universe.

Despite its embarrassing lameness, this Captain America saga has some relevance to Cornell as the Student Assembly is considering a resolution that would allow licensed gun owners to carry their arms on campus. The passage of this resolution would effectively transform the student body into the new Captain America — armed and paranoid and ready to pump some nutty grad student full of lead in the name of justice.

Actually, I would argue it has absolutely no relevance. Zero, zilch, zip, nada. If I am not mistaken, unlike the fictional Captain America, Cornell students licensed to carry a sidearm don't have any kind of superpowers. They're just normal, everyday people who try to be prepared for any contingency they can be.

How can I envision a world where everyone is happy and safe and packing heat if I’ve been brainwashed by California liberals to be anti-gun?
Great Scott! A sensible question amidst all the asshattery! There may well be hope for you yet, grasshopper, once you get out into the real world.

A peaceful place with dozens of loaded guns is less safe than a peaceful place with zero guns. No matter your position in the gun debate, whether you’re as conservative as that smutty coke-whore Ann Coulter or as liberal as the overweight hippies at the Million Mom March, you have to agree with that.

No, I don't have to agree with that, because I am in the real world, a place far more tolerant of opposing viewpoints than many so-called learning institutions. And I don't agree with it. I am at the shooting range all the time around people with loaded guns and I have no doubt that I am just as safe there as I am as I sit here in my bedroom. The old question is quite apt -- of all the places people go on a rampage, why don't they ever do it at NRA meetings or gun shows, or places like Knob Creek, Camp Perry or the Golden Triangle Gun Club?

A campus without guns is a safer campus with the lone exception of a Virginia Tech situation — a situation that has never happened on this campus and is remarkably rare.

It may well be remarkably rare, but I am sure that before last April, every single one of the people on that campus thought, "nothing like that could ever happen here..." But it sure as hell did.

We are Captain America 2.0 — lame and self-conscious in a goofy red, white and blue suit, clutching our gun tight and panting the heavy pants of a paranoid not-so-super hero.

I believe this would be called projection. For after all, I think it's safe to say that you, Tony Manfred, are the paranoid one here if you think your gun-owning classmates are going to pull their weapons out and use them on you just because. And of course you're free to think and say what you want, but another old saying comes to mind:
"Better to stay silent and have people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."